Tyndale Chapel Podcast

Good morning, everyone. That mic gonna be okay? All right, getting the thumbs up.

Well, it is truly a joy, and a blessing, and a privilege to be with you this morning here in Chapel. And I mean that on several levels. As you're going to discover, as I share with you today, I want to share with you first of all a little bit about my own journey, or at least a chapter of my journey, that took place in the last four years, four years ago. And as Zorab mentioned, it was a severe health crisis.

This is my family, visiting with a good friend, a colleague, and good friend of mine, from when I was teaching in Manitoba, Lissa Wray Beal, currently teaching at Wycliffe College in Toronto, and we were gathered around for a meal on July 27 2019. We were enjoying this time, telling stories, enjoying one another, with absolutely no clue what was about to take place, on the very next day. I'm going to be sharing some pictures of this process. And just as a potential trigger warning, those of you who may struggle with pictures of hospitals and things, there's nothing graphic. But in case that's an issue for you, feel free to look away, I won't be offended. So I was playing baseball the following night, July 28, baseball of all things, standing in the outfield, doing pretty much nothing, when my friends, Steve and Ruth Melanowski, good friends of mine, began to notice that I was acting a little strangely. Patrick doesn't normally play this way. Not just poorly, but weirdly, like a pop fly would come to me and I'd sort of stare at it until the ball almost hit me in the face and then quickly move my glove, or just being able to pick up a grounder that should have been, you know, routine and easy. And my friend Steve says, "Are you okay?" And I said, "Yeah, I'm not feeling super well, you know, my stomach's a bit off." I had been at my dad's house that evening, for a large meal. And I thought, you know, I really shouldn't have had that cheesecake at the end. And, but then I began to tell him, I'm also feeling a little bit dizzy. And you know, there's a bit of pressure in my chest area, not a lot of pain or anything, but just strange. I said, maybe I'll sit out for an inning. Later, his wife, Ruth, also a close friend came to me and said, "You know, are you okay? Steve says you're not doing too well." I said, "Yeah, I think I'm okay." She said, "Do you want me to take me to the hospital? Should I take you?" I said, "No, I think I'll, I'll sit it out, see how things go." "Are you sure?" " Well, maybe we should go."

So we went. And it was a really good thing we did, because before we even reached the hospital, I began to seize, and then vomit. And then breathe out a long final groan. My heart had stopped. I had experienced what's known as "the Widowmaker". In the picture you see here, it indicates that there's a blockage to the LAD, the major artery that supplies most of the blood to your heart. In this picture, it's 95%, blocked, mine was 100% blocked. So it's got a very low recovery rate, especially if it happens to you when you're not in the hospital, when it takes place. So we arrived at the hospital, and from this point forward, I'm sharing what's been shared with me, of course. They dragged me out of the vehicle. They worked on me for something like 20 minutes with chest compressions, three different people doing that. And then moving to defibrillators where they zapped me something like 10 times, or more than that. And finally, they were able to get me back, and then perform angioplasty and insert stents. All of that was very risky. The doctor told my wife, Elena, you know, we don't know if he can survive this procedure, because everything's so delicate. It'd be easy just to go right through an arterial wall. And that would be it. But what else can you do? So we did that. And amazingly, I was restored, God saved my life quite dramatically. Quite dramatically, like all the things that lined up for me to be able to get to the hospital in time and be revived. And my wife even asked one of the nurses, "Why did you keep working on him? Like you just didn't give up?" And she said, "You know, often we don't, but sometimes very rarely, we have this sense that the person's not gone. They're still there, on some level." And so things after that should have progressed relatively straightforwardly, in a certain sense. It's very dramatic, very traumatic. They were worried about my brain and other things being kind of out that long and so forth. But things took a downward direction. Inexplicably, so in some ways, I suffered from all kinds of things. It was kind of one thing after another.

This is a picture I found on the internet about the Widowmaker and how deadly it can be. I suffered a number of other complications, sepsis, pneumonia, something called ARDS, or acute respiratory distress syndrome. If you go to Wikipedia, it defines it like this. ARDS is a type of respiratory failure characterized by rapid onset of widespread inflammation in the lungs. Symptoms include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, bluish skin coloration. For those who survive a decreased quality of life is common. And it just got worse, there was a mysterious infection, they couldn't figure out at one point, they were testing me for cancer. My body kind of ate itself. I lost something like 50 or 60 pounds through the process. And in the end, I had to relearn everything. Though I was saved dramatically. I had to relearn how to swallow. How to sit up in bed, how to roll over at first because I couldn't roll over, I couldn't go to the bathroom. I couldn't change myself, lot of humiliating stuff. Had to relearn how to walk, how to how to move gradually, moving forward. But God was there, dramatically. Here's some pictures early on. When I was intubated, and I was intubated for a long time. I think my wife says it was like 25 days or something like that. And finally, they were able to insert a tracheotomy, which was a huge step forward. You can see my daughter, she's only seven at the time.

That picture is showing you a little bit of the complexity of what's going on in the room. It just boggles my mind, the number of machines, all of those administering some drug of some kind. Some crazy amounts of fentanyl, like amounts that would literally kill me if I took it right now. And all kinds of other things. It was a very complex situation. And I could go into it in detail, but I'd rather read the words of my wife, because she's better with words. And she was present. I was in a coma for a month. And then two months of recovery after that. This is from August 9, day 12. There is an upside to kidney failure, in Patrick's situation. Dialysis can cool the blood. Patrick remains in intensive critical condition. Some people have asked me what the prognosis is. I suppose the simple answer is, there is none. There is no forward looking, as he is not yet in recovery mode. So we don't yet know what this will look like. Many things are changing, that in turn may change outcomes for healing. Strength for today. Bright hope for tomorrow. Day 12. From the moment of the massive coronary event, which Patrick survived, the medical team has been dealing with a myriad of complications. As time progresses, his state weakens and the time between, and variety of symptoms, increases. First was the unfathomable timing getting him to hospital and the incredible resuscitation. There, aspirated, inhaled stuff. During intubation, lung infection set in, then pneumonia, then kidney failure, then continued fever after treatment, then symptoms and bloodwork which contradict each other, and continue to challenge as his condition worsened to critical, from critical, from critical. Changes move from every hour, to hourly, and so on. The unexplained losses again and again took lead, his incredible medical team tenaciously attended to everything, tested everything, while working urgently to keep him with us. Patrick's temperature became unsafe to control with Tylenol and other interventions due to varying contradictions. He was switched to an ongoing dialysis unit, and has been benefiting from this aspect for two days now. All physicians in the medical team have worked tirelessly on Patrick's behalf, at times being called in, other times staying beyond their hours. Other times calling in for updates. His nurse last night blessed me with telling me that seeing our children in the ICU, reminded him, and refreshed him of why he does what he does. He works for the life of the patient, and for the patient's loved ones. I have watched this nurse, and all the others, tend carefully and faithfully to Patrick, moment by moment, sometimes on specific tasks, sometimes simply tending. I know so many of you have been awakened in the night pray, that you have walked with the sense of hovering on Patrick's behalf. Others of you God has called specifically to join in holding and sustaining me. Some near, some far. Thank you for it all, and keep it coming. Patrick's physicians have described his condition as beyond complex. While sustained by God, and receiving supportive medical care, he fights for his life each and every day. Two nights ago, things changed quickly and his condition was very, very bad. The urgent need to support Patrick, and provide space for his body to heal took precedent over all else, the needs became filled with minutia of supporting this goal. And she goes on, at some length actually, to continue to share. And this was one moment in an ever changing situation hour by hour, that would go on for about a month before I began to recover more quickly.

So she's written about this in a blog on the Caring Bridge website, which you can go to. I know many people were deeply blessed by her writing, she writes profoundly, both of what happened and in terms of reflecting theologically on it. Here, my friends, Steve and Ruth, visiting, they're the ones I mentioned earlier from the ballgame, as I was in the hospital. Some other friends visiting, I actually, I was completely out at this point, but I remember the conversation. And I've even spoken to these friends about what we talked about. But there's a slight detail change. In my mind, the conversation took place in a dark, dingy hallway, because I was being experimented on by the military somewhere. And I had several sort of scary delusional moments like that. But I remember the conversation itself.

Here's a time when our own professor, Dr. James Robertson visited me, and it actually came at, at a turning point, that was very significant. And I remember that conversation as well. Conversation, I wasn't really speaking, I guess it was a one sided conversation. Here, my kids again, each of them just being themselves. Josiah, our oldest, was the one that wanted to tend me and use the suction to suction out my mouth, and to just help out in various ways. Our son Samuel, nervous, standing back. Going interior, putting things inside, and dealing with things later in some ways. Eliana, our girl who's just, everything she feels is just out loud. And that's her right there, too. That's outside for the first time. In the chapel at St. Mary's Hospital, in Kitchener. A time when we gathered to worship with family, friends and even some of the staff got involved in the worship service, and even a nurse read Scripture. It was awesome. And I'm raising my hands. I remember saying I'm raising my hands because I can, because for a long time I couldn't. Recovery was tough. Ups and downs, two steps forward one step back. Being fed, I initially tried it but my hands shook so much. I had a lot of trouble feeding myself. It was almost like this isn't worth it. It's too tiring to eat. Recovering. First time standing. I felt like I weighed 500 pounds. And I just stood for a few seconds. At the recovery hospital, my kids, doing much better. A friend visiting me there as well.

And then back to St. Mary's again, because to top it all off, I ended up getting C diff, which is a really nasty bacterial infection where you're going to the bathroom literally every hour for probably weeks on end, without medical intervention. It's very dangerous. So I was isolated again, brought back to St. Mary's. The hospital I was in, actually called the ambulance so that they would bring me back to the other hospital, if you can believe that. And then the day that I left.

So it's quite a story. And there are so many passages of Scripture that resonated with me, that people shared, about what was going on. One of them is the one that was read today. And I just want to reflect on this passage a little bit this morning. In light of my story as well. The story begins by telling us that the news about Jesus had travelled far and wide. People were coming from every village of Galilee, and from Judea, and from Jerusalem. From everywhere. And in my story, it was incredible how far and wide the news traveled. Like literally to countries around the world, I still have no idea how that happened. I don't know that many people, but God was up to something, even at the beginning, where he was gathering people. It's like my story was a weight that people couldn't help but think about and, and he was doing something in their midst. He used it, to bring people back to Faith, to transform the prayer lives of others. Just incredible. And I think I ended up feeling that I was swept up in something larger, that God was up to, in the middle of all of that. As the story progresses, the faith of the man, the Paralyzed man's friends, is something very prominent in the story. It's what catches Jesus' attention. In verse 20, it's clear that he's moved by their faith, and he responds. And these are the first people in Luke, Acts, who are credited with having faith. This is an important theme in the Synoptic Gospels. Faith precedes the intervention of Jesus, by those who placed their faith and trust in Him, and in His healing and saving power. And in my story, I've often wondered, you know, what is the relationship between the faith of my friends, and my healing? This is a difficult question, because I got to live. At the very same time that I was being healed, a close friend of ours was dying, and did in fact die. And so it raises this whole interesting question about does prayer lead to healing? Or does God's plan to heal, lead him to initiate us to pray, in anticipation of what he's going to do? My sense is that sometimes it's one. Sometimes it's the other. And in my case, I think it was both.

I think God responded to prayer. And I also think that he had planned to do it already. Why? Well, because I heard so many witnesses, friends, tell me things like, you know, I'm just not someone who prays. I'm like the kind of person that has to like, prayers a duty, right, I have to remind myself, but I couldn't, but pray, I couldn't help myself, I'd be running and I'd be praying without even realizing it. I'd wake up in the middle of the night. God was just drawing people into something broader that He was up to.

The next thing that happens in the story is something completely unexpected. Here comes a man, like predictably, what's what you would think would happen, he's lowered and it's a great opportunity for Jesus to do a healing miracle, right. But something intervenes quite unexpectedly, when Jesus tells the man, "Man, Your sins are forgiven." What? Okay, that's not what we expected. Your sins are forgiven. And of course, in saying this, there is an interesting reaction. This this generates a conflict with the Pharisees and the teachers of the law. Right? This man is a blasphemer, who can forgive sins, but God alone? Well indeed, precisely, good question. Who can forgive sins, but God alone? Jesus an, asks an even more interesting question, as He often does, right? "Which is easier for me to say, Your sins are forgiven or to say to this man, get up and walk." Now, it's deceptively simple, but actually complex, it's not actually a simple question, like, on the surface of things, of course, like causing someone to be healed of paralysis. It's much more difficult than saying "You're forgiven." But then again, you know, we do have medicine, and increasingly we have wonderful technology that can do all kinds of things. And yes, God's involved in that, working through secondary means and so forth. But who can actually tell someone else "God forgives you." That's not my prerogative. Like, I can't forgive you on behalf of someone else, right? And yet Jesus declares, "You are forgiven." Pope Francis, in his commentary, writes the following about this. He says, "The man, Jesus, this man heals not only the body, but also the wound in our soul." Incredible. Now Jesus, then does this dramatic work of healing, where he says to the man, and he tells the teachers "So that you know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins. Get up, pick up your mat, walk out." And the man does. It's incredible. It's dramatic. And It dramatizes three truths about Jesus, first of all, his identity, as the Son of Man and The Son of God. This is the first time, in 25 times, that Luke will use the title Son of Man, for Jesus, that Jesus uses this term as recorded by Luke. And its drawing, many of you know, from Daniel chapter seven, about this messianic figure who would come and establish a kingdom. It's not just Son of Man, though, the word Son of man, the word authority, and the words, on the earth are all drawn from Daniel seven. So clear echoes and resonances, that something deep under the surface is going on, in what Jesus is doing here. And then also, when Jesus says, so that you will know that the Son of Man has authority. This too, scholars have pointed out, probably echoes, Exodus, chapters eight and nine, when that phrase "so that you will know" is used during the plagues that God is bringing, so that you will know that God is present, so that you will know that there is none like the Lord, so that you will know that the earth is the Lord's, so that you will know that Jesus has authority on earth, earth as a Son of Man, and the Son of God, to forgive sins. What's being said is that a new Eternal Kingdom is here, through this Son of Man, a new exodus has arrived through Jesus, the new Moses. Secondly, God's power is on display here. We are already told in verse 17, that God's power was with Jesus, and operating through Jesus to bring healing. And then thirdly, God's authority is with Jesus, authority over sickness. Jesus was authorized to heal the sick in dramatic ways, and even more incredibly, his authority over sin, that he heals, as Francis says, not just the body, but the soul. He heals, not just the symptom, but the disease that all of us find ourselves suffering from, the condition of fallenness, distortedness, disruption, alienation, suffering, death. And then we reach the theological climax of the passage. The climax is not the healing of the man. It's the praising of God. The man jumps up, and he goes home praising God, verse 25. And then verse 26, everybody else joins in, because they are awestruck, they're overwhelmed, and they are praising God as well. And I can't help but think of my own situation, how it became a witness, not just to me, but to literally hundreds and hundreds of people. That God is glorious, that he forgives, that he is present, including hospital staff. It was quite incredible.

I want to reflect in the ending part of my talk that this man becomes a sign of the gospel and of the kingdom of God. I love this phrase I read from the scholar Nicholas Perrin in his commentary, he says, the erstwhile paralyzed man becomes something of a walking public sign, a beneficiary of a miracle, so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins. I love that. And I was thinking, I am a walking public sign of God's power and authority, and forgiveness, and healing. And believe me, it's strange to say that. I was known as the "miracle man" at the hospital. I'm a sign. It's strange to say that, let me hasten to add, I really want to de-emphasize the "I". And I want to emphasize the sign. Signs do not exist to be the center of attention, and to draw praise and glory to themselves. Signs exists to point beyond themselves, to that which they signify. The paralyzed man existed in his renewed life to point not to himself, but to the Son of Man and The Son of God, the Lord Jesus. I exist, to point not to myself, but to the Son of Man, the Son of God, the living Lord Jesus. I came back with a very strong sense that my life is not my own.

It can be gone in an instant. We're like blades of grass, we rise up in the morning, we wither in the evening, that's human nature. I am not my own, I've been purchased with a price. My time on Earth, it might be a week, might be a month, it might be five years, it might be 50 years. All of that is short, in the context of eternity. I am on a temporary mission, while I am here, to be a signpost to the Son of Man and The Son of God. Also, signs, especially theological signs are eschatological in nature. Or they are oriented toward the end. Or they point to, and participate in, the end which dawns in the present. They participate. They participate in a revelatory dynamic of the "already and not yet" of God's kingdom. They don't bring the kingdom fully. Rather, they announce and proclaim its dawning in the present, and its consummation in the future. I think this is important, because in the space of the already and the the not yet, the here and the now. Signs are present to us, but they can only be taken up, and received, and acted upon in faith. They're not proofs. Many see signs and pass by without taking notice. Or by interpreting them in a way that allows you to evade it's true meaning. Signs must be attended to in faith. They announce the coming of the kingdom. And in doing that they are like little lights shining in the darkness.

I think that's important, because my story is a powerful story. But it's a light in the darkness. And there is much darkness. There is much ongoing suffering. My friend did not survive. I did. We have lost dear colleagues, professors, friends in this community. I'm walking with people who are dying right now, or facing things that are very, very difficult, and so are you. And so the signs that we experience are true gifts, but they themselves are not the gospel. I am still going to die. I don't know when. The true gospel is the hope that my sign points to, that Jesus is through his life, and his death, and his resurrection, and through His ascension. He is going to reconcile and redeem all things. That is my hope. This is a deposit in me. It's God's promise to do something big. It's not simply a formulaic triumphalism, based on the power of my own personal belief, which frankly is rather weak. Instead, it points to something much bigger, much more dramatic, much more permanent and much more comprehensive. Behold, Jesus says, I am making all things new.

I want to close in prayer. So if you would close your eyes with me, and if we could just spend a moment in quiet, not just in terms of sound, but quietness in our hearts. Where in your life are you desperate for God right now? We're so often caught up in the busyness, the hour to hour, the day to day. But think about your life in the context of eternity. Think about the deepest need of your soul. Why do you long for what you long for? Why do you chase what you chase? And why does that continually evade satisfying you? How are you desperate for God today. Might be very concrete. It might be something hard to name. Take a moment and invite Him into that, Lord, fill this, fill me. I need you.

And think about how in Christ, God has made you, not just me but you also, to be a living, walking public sign of His grace, His power, His love, His authority. What does this mean for your sense of purpose in the world? For your calling your vocation. Ask the Lord and let him into that come Lord shape me.

Lord, we have deep need for you, ourselves, but also our friends, whom we love, our families, our communities, our world. We pray for all of this. Would you come? Would you do a miraculous work in our lives? Things that are little and things that are big? Would you give us a renewed sense of our purpose in you, that we are signs pointing to the resurrection of Jesus, and to the consummation of all things, that you are making all things new? May we bring you glory and honour and praise? We know by our efforts we struggle to do this. But you are at work within us to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Would you rise with me for the benediction, as we go forth from this place. From Ephesians 3:20 to 21. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power, that is work, at work within us. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Go in peace.