Abide – Saint Augustine
Welcome, everyone, welcome to Abide.
Whether this is your very first time coming into this space or you've been here many times, our structure is pretty much the same. As we spend some time quieting our bodies, recognizing our breath, and getting more settled, we spend some time in some readings, and silences, and reflecting times. And the hope and the intention is that we will walk away from this time being more anchored in God and more settled in who we are in Him. That this space might be a space of refinement and purification, where we become more and more fully who God intended us to be.
The series this year for the Abide podcast is Walking with Jesus' Friends. And so, we’ll be studying twelve different Saints together. And when I say studying, we'll just dip our toe in a little bit of their story. We will read a bit from their writings, and we will have some time to contemplate how their story might weave in with our stories. And some might say, why spend time reading others' work? We should spend time in the words of Jesus, the words of the Scriptures, and I fully agree with that. I also agree that the Saints had such a deep desire to connect with God, and you'll notice as we read their words how devoted and transformed they are. And so, I think you'll really enjoy meeting these new friends, or maybe they'll be friends that you've known for a while. So, I'm looking forward to getting to know Jesus, and His heart, and how who He is transformed these friends that we will be studying and spending time with this semester.
This podcast began by my reading of Matthew 6:6, where it says, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” And so, my desire is for us all to have a regular practice of spending time with God, in stillness, and in reflection, and in quiet. And that, in that, we will more deeply abide, or rest, or find our home in Him.
And so, we're just going to begin by settling our bodies, quieting our minds. And then we'll get to hear some wonderful words by our first Saint, Saint Augustine. So, find your space of prayer, wherever it may be. Whether it's in the car, or on a bus, on a walk, or in a room with a closed door. I like to light a candle. I often hold a cross, wear a prayer shawl. Sometimes these tactile things can just increase the sacredness, and maybe the alert and a wakeful spirit, to this time of prayer.
So, let's begin with just a gentle inhale, noticing our breath. And exhale. And again, inhale. And exhale. Lastly, inhale. And exhale. And as you notice your breath, you can start to become more aware of your body, relaxing the muscles of the face, relaxing the shoulders, quieting down through the center body, through the legs and down to your feet, and just becoming more aware of the present moment. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am. Be still and know. Be still. Be.
Jesus, we are so thankful that when we make a decision to carve out time to be with you and to turn our eyes to you, that you can bring calm over our bodies. And you can bring rest to our weary souls.
And I just invite us all as we are entering this new season, this new academic year, our minds are full: Of excitement, or fears, or overwhelm, or unknowns. And so, we recognize this quiet, sacred space. And I just want to give you a moment to just release anything that's weighty on you right now. And speak that out to God. Release that to God.
Beautiful. It's so good to practice just releasing, over and over again, those things that get stuck and build up inside us, so that we can make space and make room to receive from God.
Our first friend of Jesus that we get to sit with today is Saint Augustine. You'll hear me say Augustine or Augustine, back and forth. His name is pronounced both ways. But he was born in 354 and died in 430 and lived in North Africa. And I find it helpful to read just this little story from this more children, childlike book called Stories of the Saints. And it's by Carrie Wallace. And so just sit back and relax in your seat, as Jesus is in this space and as we get to know this new friend of ours, Augustine.
“One night, when Augustine was a boy, he and his friends got bored with the games they had been playing on the streets of their city, Hippo, in North Africa. ‘I know,’ Augustine's friend said, ‘Let's go steal some of those pears from your neighbour.’ So the boys climbed over the wall, snuck into Augustine's yard, and stole a huge load of pears from his neighbour’s pear tree. ‘These aren't any better than any other pears,’ one of his friends complained, once they tried them. ‘I'm not even hungry,’ said Augustine. ‘Does it matter?’ his friend said, ‘We'll just feed them to the pigs. At least it was fun.’ Years later, when Augustine was a grown man, he couldn't stop thinking about that night and the stolen pears. Life hadn’t been easy for him since then. Or maybe it had been too easy. He turned into a great student who aced all his classes. He was a great speaker who crowds gathered to see. His family was rich, so he never had to worry about money. Women liked him, and he loved them. And he had good friends. But none of this made Augustine happy. So, he started to wonder about God. Who was God? What was God like? And what did God want? Augustine's mother, Monica, was a Christian. And she was always trying to get him to go to church. So finally, Augustine went to hear Ambrose, who was a great speaker just like him. The more Augustine learned about God, the more he wanted to know. And the more he longed to be good. But he was terrified that he never could be because something inside him liked to do wrong. That's why the story of the pears suck with him. He hadn't stolen the pears because he wanted them or needed them. It wasn't really fun to pick pears or feed them to the pigs. The only fun he had that night was the thrill of breaking the rules. But why was that a thrill? And if he'd always loved to do wrong, ever since he was a child, was there any hope for him? One day, Augustine was sitting with a friend in a walled garden behind his friend's house. All these questions spinning in his head. He was so frustrated that he began to weep. ‘God,’ he prayed, ‘Will I ever stop wanting to do bad things?’ Then, from the yard next door, he heard children chanting, ‘Take and read, take and read,’ they said. Was this an answer to his prayer? Augustine wasn't sure. But he saw a book his friend had left nearby: a copy of a letter Saint Paul wrote to the church in Rome several hundred years before Augustine was born. When Augustine opened it, he read these lines. ‘Let's walk in the light, not in wild parties and arguments and jealousy. Instead, let's be like Jesus. As Augustine read, light filled his heart and the shadows of his doubts scattered. ‘Listen to this,’ Augustine told his friend, and read the lines to him. ‘Do you know what else that letter says?’ his friend asked. Augustine shook his head. The next lines his friend told him were about strength and weakness. Saint Paul wrote that it didn't matter to God whether someone was weak or strong. God would give strength to anyone who asked. That was the answer to the question Augustine had carried with him all his life. He didn't have to figure out how to be good on his own. God would help him. Augustine became a great leader in the church. He wrote books about God that people have been reading ever since. And he spent the rest of his life telling anyone who would listen what he learned that day: Our hearts are made for God, and we won't be at home until we find our rest in him.”
Take some time now to just dwell with this story. And dwell with this new friend.
Maybe you can relate to some of the things that happened in his life. It says here that Augustine's mother, Monica, was always in prayer, fervently, for her son. It says here that a friend named Ambrose instructed Augustine, taught him, challenged him, and grew his faith. So, I think it would be good to spend some time reflecting on who some key players are in our stories. Who has prayed for us? Who has been faithful to teach us, to guide us, to grow us? So, spend some time now with Jesus and this new friend, Augustine. Begin to ponder those important individuals in your story. As they come forward, praise God for them, delight in them, and delight in the gift of their presence in your life.
Thank you, God, for the people that you've placed in our stories. To grow us, to develop us, to think ahead for us, to want the best for our lives. Thank you for Monica and Ambrose in the life of Augustine.
I wonder if you relate at all with Augustine and his wrestling of why do I choose to do wrong? The stealing of the pears. This is a story that he writes about in one of his most famous books, Confessions. And Confessions is not a book just about confessing all the things that he has done wrong in his life, as he became a Christian in his thirties. And much of the stories of the book, in Confessions, is about him reflecting back on his early years. But it's a confession of God's faithfulness in his life. Confession of how God has shaped him and molded him through all circumstances. And so, I wonder if we have our own little book at all of confessions? Do we have a practice of praying, journaling, wrestling with God around our actions and our thought life and what we've done and what we choose to do? And this is an autobiography that he writes, and we get to peek into his heart, and how God continues to refine and purify him. And so, I want you to just take a moment pondering your practices of confession or times where you open up to God and allow him to speak to you, to correct you, to guide you. Maybe this is something that's very much a part of your daily life, and maybe it's something you desire to grow more in. So, take some time now to talk to God about your interacting with one another and how that might grow and develop.
I would love for you to hear some of the words that he writes in the book Confessions, and this is the very first page. So, it's book one, the chapters entitled Early Years. And it's just a few sentences. But listen in on his prayer to God, his praise to God, his just human, lovely self. “You are great, Lord, and highly to be praised. Great is your power, and your wisdom is immeasurable. Man, a little piece of your creation, desires to praise you. A human being, bearing his mortality with him, carrying with him the witness of his sin, and the witness that you resist the proud. Nevertheless, to praise you is the desire of man. A little piece of your creation. You stir man to take pleasure in praising you. Because you have made us for yourself. And our heart is restless until it rests in you. Because you have made us for yourself. And our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
It's such a gift to peek into this dialogue or as it were that Augustine is having with God. And I wonder if this can aid us in how we dialogue with God. Let us be reminded that we have been made for God. And our heart is restless until it rests in him. Let's take some time together to notice where the restlessness is in our beings today. Maybe it's in getting settled and having a routine together. Maybe it's in proving your worth through your academic work. Maybe it's restlessness with relationships. Whatever it may be, begin to speak about that openly with God. And allow him to hold you. And to allow yourself to rest, in Him.
Augustine later writes in the same page: “In seeking him, they find him. And in finding, they will praise him. In seeking him, they find him. And in finding, they will praise him.” Augustine is such a wonderful example of seeking truth, of uncovering wisdom. We know he's a great scholar, philosopher, theologian, politician, teacher, bishop. He pursued God, pursued truth, till his dying day. He sought after God and found him and was able to praise in that space. And so, let us now, as we begin to close this time of prayer, just become more encouraged to seek God. To give God more of our attention. To read God. To study God. To seek God. This is what we were created for. We are created for God. So, let's just allow God to bring light to where in our day we're in. In our hours, can we seek, can we grow, can we study, putting more time into this relationship with God?
Wonderful. I wonder if you notice when I read the story about Augustine, he is struck by Paul and how Paul reminds us that we don't have to be strong, that the weaknesses that we feel, God will give us strength. And so, we certainly can't continue to pursue God in our own strength. But that God will continue to empower us in this manner. I'd love to close our time with one more passage in the Confessions book. And it will give you a glimpse again of the intimacy that Augustine has with God, how he speaks about God, and maybe this will just encourage you to write some words about God. And whether they are words of struggle, words of strife, words of beauty, I hope that it will encourage you to just put some time into this wonderful relationship with God, that Augustine shows us the fruits of such a relationship. So let us close with this: “Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.”
Father, thank you for this new friend, or maybe an old friend, for us to get to know. Thank you for his pursuit of you. And may we continue to pursue you, the rest of this hour, this day, and this life that you give us. Amen.
